Who Are We?

That is a fundamental question that we find ourselves asking every day. We are a compilation of so many things in the totality of our life experiences. We are man and woman; wife, husband, father, daughter, son. It is a whole spectrum of viewpoints from the theological down to the most earthy. And not one of them can give a true complete picture of who we are.

Of course there is also our own self-image. And I should be so bold as to suggest that self-image is the most important of all, because it determines so much of our behavior towards ourselves and towards others in our lives.

Our parents have a fundamental role in helping us to form that initial picture of who we are. If that structure is sound, we have something significant to build on in our formative years and after. Today I see so many who are the products of single parent homes, broken homes, careless, indifferent or neglectful parenting that I wonder just how some kids emerge as successfully as so many do. And I do not suggest for a moment that single parents cannot raise a child properly, with the foundation children need to be a balanced, successful adult. It is just a little harder.

I owe so much to my own parents. In fact in my own self-image they are responsible for shaping the person that I am, with all my many good and bad attributes. They taught me so many things, but nothing more important than to love, cherish and protect my family. I live that motto every day.





But they taught me much more than that. As poor, working musicians they made do with so little that to me now it seems shocking. They could turn the most meager meal into a celebration; the most humble gift into a treasure. The poorest living conditions into a sanctuary filled with books, lively discussions and keen political conversation. Looking back, it was wonderful really, despite my memories of dreary, drafty, broken down and pest infected apartments and endless winter colds.

Medical care did not exist, and my parents were too proud to accept government assistance, though they surely qualified. They chose to do it alone, be independent, and raise their children properly and carefully, in their own way. As a young adult I worked not to buy cars, jewelry and date girls; my money was spent on extensive dental work my parents could not afford to take care of. My sister had similar issues as a young adult.

Was it a perfect household? Of course not. Mistakes were made; there were arguments, and sometimes their personality flaws were manifest more often than not. My sister and I grew up sometimes with much anger at these flaws but as we matured we realized that we all have them and no one is perfect. What we came to realize was that their efforts to give us all they had was genuine and from their hearts. In the end that was all that mattered.

Sitting now as I am, typing this and making use of wealth and technology that they could never dream of, I wonder if I am truly worthy of their greatest efforts; if I love my family as deeply as they did; if I value the smallest things in life as greatly as they did. I believe that I have, but the challenge is immense; every day I struggle to live up to their standards. That struggle is the crucible which has turned me into the person that I am, for better or worse. I think they would approve and be pleased. And based upon my observations of what is going on in this country today, I must say we were blessed.